I've mentioned before our difficult family-of-a-PhD-student status...which causes me to continually search for some sort of work I could do from home to supplement the income. My primary goal (to which I am committed) is to be an attentive, available mother to my children. But it would be nice to not live on pennies...or less (!). Contradictory to the need, I am very picky and particular about what sort of work it would be: it must be flexible, something that could be fit into my day whenever I have time; it must be profitable, since I really don't have time to dally around with unimportant things; and most importantly, it must be something I love to do, because life is hard enough and I don't need one more thing to dread every day.
These thoughts, sprung out of need, lead me to musings of this question:
What are we created to be? What am I created to be?
The question itself inspires me, even as it stands, unanswered...It's amazing, first of all, that I am created: intentioned, lovingly molded, purposed...And all things purposed, by nature have a purpose! The purpose..."to be"...Is it enough simply "to be"? I absolutely think so, but I also think we should zealously pursue that particular state of being which brings us overflowing, uncontainable joy and inspires our own creativity (which has as many modes as there are people in the world). That's the sort of being that our own Creator intended, that we live in the fullness of His joy.
And wouldn't it be great to be blessed to have work that rejuvenated you and continuously re-inspired you and fulfilled you, rather than draining your energy and life? I am hopeful to find this.
Angela, these thoughts could have been mine. I relate to it very much.
ReplyDeleteWhen are you returning to the States?
Thanks for commenting, Manuela--it's always so encouraging to know you're not alone in whatever plight you find yourself, especially when it's a more challenging one :). I think of you guys regularly and wonder how the job hunt goes, and also pray that you will find a place to settle soon. (Jack has also talked about Lukas a couple times since we've been here, which is cute)
ReplyDeleteI am coming back to the States quite soon, actually--our 6 months is up on August 30! Owen has to stay 2 months longer, though, so he won't come back til the end of October.