Wisdom from Wee Ones

I love being a mommy, and I take very seriously my responsibility to teach and train my children.  But sometimes, it seems like they teach me more than I teach them!  It's a beautiful system, this family business.  Here is some of the wisdom my little ones have all figured out (and I hope they never lose it!):

* To love unreservedly, and forgive readily
   These sweet children love through thick and thin, and aren't afraid or ashamed to show their affection whenever it occurs to them.  They show no prejudice in their love, and see value in everyone.  They are quick to forgive, when an apology is sincere (or even just because). 

* To embrace life
   Oh, to be a kid again, and get caught up in the current of life, instead of the slough of "responsibility" that burdens us as adults...Children just seem to know how to embrace the joy of life, and to find joy in unexpected places, which is something we adults (wrongly) sacrifice under the pretense of being more--umm--responsible.

This is "emptying the water out" of Jack's boots, haha.

* To not be limited by fear
   I am amazed, constantly, at how unafraid my kids are!  Whether it's making new friends or asking kids we don't know to share a toy or jumping off a high precipice, they face new and challenging situations as if they're exhilarating opportunities. They especially seem to have no concept of fearing what other people think, which is HUGE!

Jack will jump off anything, even a 7-ft-high jungle gym!

Safita's favorite thing is jumping into water, and swimming in water over her head.  These guys are fearless!

* To play & be silly
   Sometimes, it's really good for the soul to just goof off and do nothing but paint your hair blue, make silly faces, and laugh about funny noises!  I'm convinced that silliness is more than just silliness--it's healing and rejuvenating!

* To approach problems as a game rather than an annoyance
   Whenever they're faced with a problem, their first reaction is to find a solution; and if the solution can be a game, all the better.

* To dance, whenever you hear music of any kind
   Songs on the radio, cell phone ringtones, advertising jingles...all deserve a peppy little jig!  It adds a sparkle of fun to sometimes otherwise dull moments.

* To treat everyone in the world like they are dear friends
   This is Safita's forte.  Wherever we are, and almost whatever her mood, she will wave and say hi, smile, and blow kisses to everyone we see.  She'll interact with strangers like they're a most beloved family member, and just make people feel special and loved.  She definitely leaves a trail of people swooning over her adorable friendliness!  She definitely convicts me in this regard, because I tend to just mind my own business and avoid people I don't know; but her friendliness seems to strike a (perhaps subconscious) longing in the people we meet from day to day--a longing to be in community, to treat all people like our neighbors, to be love to everyone we see...

Safita, showing deep affection for cousins we barely ever see (sadly)!

* To not judge people based on petty things, and to assume the best of people
   I think this is just true of kid nature--they haven't learned to judge yet.  They make observations about the people and things they see, but don't make value judgments about it.  I hope we can encourage them in that, and not teach them otherwise.

* To overlook differences--and even appreciate them!
   I love how the cousins on both sides love playing with each other, regardless of huge age gaps. They're all interested in different things and are at different stages in their lives, but somehow, they always find a common ground for appreciating each other and having fun together.  It's very sweet. In my own experience, too, when I've opened myself to learn from people different from me, I always learn valuable lessons and am deepened as a person.  It seems, God made us different for a reason, and maybe the point of community is to be around all different kinds of people (instead of a handful of people just like us) so that we can use our giftings to strengthen each other. 

* That it's okay to be discerning and picky about our real friends
   Jack has said before about friends,"I don't want to play with (so-and-so) because he/she is mean to me" or "I like (so-and-so) because he/she is nice to me."  I thought that was very mature of him, to have the discernment to know when someone else's personality/method of playing didn't encourage him, and the wisdom to know that it's okay to not be friends with people who don't encourage you. I sometimes feel obligated to try to be friends with everyone I meet...but not only is that impossible, but it's not beneficial for anyone.  Certain personalities blend better than others, and it's okay to be picky.  You do glean a lot from your friends, after all--better make sure they're worth gleaning from!  (And it goes without saying, also to make sure I'm the kind of friend who's encouraging to be around!)

* To be honest about feelings and emotions
   These little ones do not hide what they're feeling at all!  Sure, they need a little guidance and maturity to know how to better express what they're feeling, but I think it's very healthy and good that they express instead of bottling it up inside.  It's good to deal with issues when they happen instead of letting them get out of control.

* That God is involved and cares about the tiniest matters in our lives
   I love it when Jack involves Jesus in even the tiniest of situations throughout the day.  One of my favorites (which I may have shared previously), was when I told him a joke, and while laughing heartily he said, "Jesus in my heart is laughing!"  I love that image: God in our midst, laughing with us about a funny joke.  Jack is also very cognizant of and verbal about how Jesus will help us in various situations, like finding a lost toy or healing an owie, etc. 

I know these lists could be endless--I'd love to hear what your children teach you, too!

The Truth about Fear

I can't remember where I heard this--whether it was in a church sermon or a book--but I can't get it off my mind.  It has to do with the same theme as my last post, so it seemed appropriate to share. 

The subject is the Israelites, as they are coming out of slavery in Egypt.  The tribe of Jacob (the Israelites) went to Egypt during a time of famine, when Joseph had become a high-ranking ruler in Egypt.  As generations passed, however, the Israelites multiplied numerously and the kings of Egypt forgot about Joseph, and out of fear of the Israelites' increasing numbers subjected them to slavery and hardship.  They were "oppressed with forced labor...they worked them ruthlessly....they made their lives bitter with hard labor..."  Doesn't sound like a very desirable situation; in fact, it sounds pretty desperate to me. 

And then the Egyptians started killing their baby boys.  Just as a mother, to have the joy of a new baby ripped away and replaced with horrifying fear--apart from the normal fears of healthy pregnancy and birth--that if my precious new baby so much as cried (which babies will do), someone might come and kill him mercilessly--that would do me in!  I feel like that alone would give me the courage to do whatever it took to gain freedom! 

But, Moses came along, and through a series of miracles and wonders, God delivered the Israelites from their oppression.  I'm sure it was hard work packing up their homes and doing all the preparation to leave for the long journey (they'd been in Egypt 430 years), but it's worth whatever it takes, right?

They got as far as the Red Sea...not really very far...when they met their first opposition: Pharaoh changed his mind and sent his army after them.  They had just witnessed a host of miraculous signs and wonders by the hand of God, and God's very presence had been traveling with them in a manifest form, so you would expect their faith to be strong.  But here's how they respond: "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?  What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?  Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'?  It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" (Ex. 14:10-12, italics added)

WHAT??!!  Shocking, right?  It really seemed better to the Israelites to live under oppressive slavery under ruthless slavemasters without even the freedom to give birth...than to face freedom and become rulers of their own land with a loving, powerful God on their side?

In their defense, however, I've also experienced the other side.  The Israelites were obviously facing a significant amount of Fear, and Moses answers their complaints with an exhortation: "Do not be afraid. Stand firm."  I've recently started reading Max Lucado's book Fearless, and it's been astoundingly eye-opening.  I knew I had issues to deal with, but never, ever tied them back to fear; I never thought I was a fearful person, and in fact thought I was an exceptionally non-fearful person.  But Max Lucado explains how fear is the root of so many other issues in our lives (I highly recommend this book!):

• Fear corrodes our confidence in God's goodness and makes us question whether He really loves us.  It causes us to doubt, and makes our doubt turn to anger.
• Fear turns us into control freaks.  We become so insecure that we frantically try to control whatever we can: dieting, cleaning house, people, etc.
• Fear makes us get mean, because we feel threatened and cornered.  
• Fear makes us unable to love deeply, because love is risky.
• Fear makes us lose hope and give up.  It prevents us from dreaming wildly.
• Fear makes us forget the good things and the miracles God has worked in our lives.
• Fear sucks life out of our souls, steals joy, drains contentment, reverts us to an embryonic stage, creates numbing dread, paralyzes us with insecurity, makes safety our god and causes us to worship a risk-free life ("the easy life," perhaps?)

I just think of myself, and how my "Egyptians"--those battles I'm facing that seem so daunting and frightening--can scare me so badly that I forget the wonders and miracles God has done for me, I forget His goodness, and, instead of standing firm in faith, I angrily challenge God, "Why have you brought me here?  Do you not love me??"  As if it would really be better for me to hopelessly rot in my own slavery than to fight for freedom. 

I think, at least for myself, the slavery and bondage of where I am is familiar, and in that sense it is comfortable.  It's not comfortable in and of itself, and of course I would want change!  But freedom is unknown, it is expensive, it takes hard work, it is not predictable, and it doesn't allow us to sit around on our rear ends and mope.  So I keep thinking about the Israelites, and it brings perspective: Slavery, or Freedom?  The choice is obvious...*All it takes* is a face-down with that frightening monster named Fear.

Moses' words to the Israelites encourage me in my own situation: "Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  [The Egyptians/ enter personal problem] you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" (Ex. 14:13-14).  God is not asking me to single-handedly slay the dragon; He's simply asking me to not be afraid and trust Him to be strong.  And what a promise!  If I can be still enough to let God bring deliverance, I will never see this problem again!  Sure, there will be others, but that sounds pretty amazing.