Wisdom from Wee Ones

I love being a mommy, and I take very seriously my responsibility to teach and train my children.  But sometimes, it seems like they teach me more than I teach them!  It's a beautiful system, this family business.  Here is some of the wisdom my little ones have all figured out (and I hope they never lose it!):

* To love unreservedly, and forgive readily
   These sweet children love through thick and thin, and aren't afraid or ashamed to show their affection whenever it occurs to them.  They show no prejudice in their love, and see value in everyone.  They are quick to forgive, when an apology is sincere (or even just because). 

* To embrace life
   Oh, to be a kid again, and get caught up in the current of life, instead of the slough of "responsibility" that burdens us as adults...Children just seem to know how to embrace the joy of life, and to find joy in unexpected places, which is something we adults (wrongly) sacrifice under the pretense of being more--umm--responsible.

This is "emptying the water out" of Jack's boots, haha.

* To not be limited by fear
   I am amazed, constantly, at how unafraid my kids are!  Whether it's making new friends or asking kids we don't know to share a toy or jumping off a high precipice, they face new and challenging situations as if they're exhilarating opportunities. They especially seem to have no concept of fearing what other people think, which is HUGE!

Jack will jump off anything, even a 7-ft-high jungle gym!

Safita's favorite thing is jumping into water, and swimming in water over her head.  These guys are fearless!

* To play & be silly
   Sometimes, it's really good for the soul to just goof off and do nothing but paint your hair blue, make silly faces, and laugh about funny noises!  I'm convinced that silliness is more than just silliness--it's healing and rejuvenating!

* To approach problems as a game rather than an annoyance
   Whenever they're faced with a problem, their first reaction is to find a solution; and if the solution can be a game, all the better.

* To dance, whenever you hear music of any kind
   Songs on the radio, cell phone ringtones, advertising jingles...all deserve a peppy little jig!  It adds a sparkle of fun to sometimes otherwise dull moments.

* To treat everyone in the world like they are dear friends
   This is Safita's forte.  Wherever we are, and almost whatever her mood, she will wave and say hi, smile, and blow kisses to everyone we see.  She'll interact with strangers like they're a most beloved family member, and just make people feel special and loved.  She definitely leaves a trail of people swooning over her adorable friendliness!  She definitely convicts me in this regard, because I tend to just mind my own business and avoid people I don't know; but her friendliness seems to strike a (perhaps subconscious) longing in the people we meet from day to day--a longing to be in community, to treat all people like our neighbors, to be love to everyone we see...

Safita, showing deep affection for cousins we barely ever see (sadly)!

* To not judge people based on petty things, and to assume the best of people
   I think this is just true of kid nature--they haven't learned to judge yet.  They make observations about the people and things they see, but don't make value judgments about it.  I hope we can encourage them in that, and not teach them otherwise.

* To overlook differences--and even appreciate them!
   I love how the cousins on both sides love playing with each other, regardless of huge age gaps. They're all interested in different things and are at different stages in their lives, but somehow, they always find a common ground for appreciating each other and having fun together.  It's very sweet. In my own experience, too, when I've opened myself to learn from people different from me, I always learn valuable lessons and am deepened as a person.  It seems, God made us different for a reason, and maybe the point of community is to be around all different kinds of people (instead of a handful of people just like us) so that we can use our giftings to strengthen each other. 

* That it's okay to be discerning and picky about our real friends
   Jack has said before about friends,"I don't want to play with (so-and-so) because he/she is mean to me" or "I like (so-and-so) because he/she is nice to me."  I thought that was very mature of him, to have the discernment to know when someone else's personality/method of playing didn't encourage him, and the wisdom to know that it's okay to not be friends with people who don't encourage you. I sometimes feel obligated to try to be friends with everyone I meet...but not only is that impossible, but it's not beneficial for anyone.  Certain personalities blend better than others, and it's okay to be picky.  You do glean a lot from your friends, after all--better make sure they're worth gleaning from!  (And it goes without saying, also to make sure I'm the kind of friend who's encouraging to be around!)

* To be honest about feelings and emotions
   These little ones do not hide what they're feeling at all!  Sure, they need a little guidance and maturity to know how to better express what they're feeling, but I think it's very healthy and good that they express instead of bottling it up inside.  It's good to deal with issues when they happen instead of letting them get out of control.

* That God is involved and cares about the tiniest matters in our lives
   I love it when Jack involves Jesus in even the tiniest of situations throughout the day.  One of my favorites (which I may have shared previously), was when I told him a joke, and while laughing heartily he said, "Jesus in my heart is laughing!"  I love that image: God in our midst, laughing with us about a funny joke.  Jack is also very cognizant of and verbal about how Jesus will help us in various situations, like finding a lost toy or healing an owie, etc. 

I know these lists could be endless--I'd love to hear what your children teach you, too!

Community

I've been thinking about the value of community lately...The thought was sparked by my recent dollar store incident (see last post), and more fully developed by a verse someone shared with me today. 

I've grown up thinking it was good and preferable to always be strong and be able to take care of myself and to be able to do all things that I need by myself and to always have everything together...basically, to be more or less completely self-reliant.  Asking for help always seemed like a weakness, and--understandably--has always been very hard for me to do.  On the plus side, this mode of thinking has encouraged me to learn and pursue things that I never would have otherwise, and so has broadened my talents and interests.  However, over the last several years, I've been gradually beginning to think that maybe the island life isn't really the best, after all. 

The recent dollar store incident (see previous post) caused me to think about the value of other people in our lives who act as a check and balance--whether it's someone close who serves as a mentor and accountability partner, or if it's a stranger who points out a blind spot.  What kind of arrogance makes me feel like I alone know what's best for my kids?  I mean, God has given me that sacred responsibility to raise and nurture them, and I embrace that responsibility wholeheartedly!  But, we've all heard it said, "It takes a village to raise a child," and I think there's wisdom there. 

• It's good for a child to learn to respect adults other than his/her own parents.
• It's good for parents to glean wisdom from other parents' experiences.
• It's good for the young to learn from those who are older and wiser.  
• It's good for the old to learn from the young who have not lost their childlike faith.
• It's good for all of us to interact with those who are different from us, and maybe to glean valuable nuggets from a different way of life or a different perspective.
• And, equally importantly, it's good for parents of young children to have a break now and then, to rejuvenate their own spirits.  

That last point ties in with the verse someone shared with me today.  As I mentioned above, I tend to feel like it is required of me, as a capable human being, to do everything myself and not to burden others by asking for help.  I guess I tend to think that it's selfish of me to ask someone else to do something for me, or am afraid that they will feel burdened, or feel like I am failing my God-given responsibility to pass off tasks for which I am responsible.  Or something. 

So here's that verse:
Exodus 18:13-18  "The next day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people, and they stood around him from morning till evening.  When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, 'What is this you are doing for the people?  Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning till evening?'  Moses answered him, 'Because the people come to me to seek God's will.  Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God's decrees and laws.'  Moses' father-in-law replied, 'What you are doing is not good.  You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out.  The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone."  Moses' father-in-law went on to instruct him that he should teach the people all of God's decrees and laws, and then select capable and trustworthy men to serve as judges, so that only the difficult cases would be brought to Moses.

I felt floored when this verse was shared with me.  Not that it was a new passage that I'd never heard before, but God used the person sharing the verse to bring me new insight, and it was something I needed to hear.  God gave Moses the responsibility of leading the Israelites and teaching them God's laws--a seriously important responsibility.  Moses had stood in God's presence, and daily he sacrificed himself in the Lord's service.  What he was doing was good, and no one could argue otherwise.

Except his father-in-law.  (Leave it to those in-laws, right? *wink*)  If you were Moses, and arguably had the most intimate relationship with the Living God of all the people in the land, and God spoke to you audibly and performed amazing signs and wonders through you, and entrusted you with the well-being and teaching of an entire nation of people, and you sacrificed yourself daily to this exceedingly difficult task, wouldn't you want a little pat on the back or an encouraging "What you do is good--keep it up"?  Wouldn't you be a little upset if a family member, who hadn't been with you on the long journey, and who probably wasn't even a believer in the same God (Jethro was a priest of Midian), showed up and said, "What you are doing is not good"???  Chalk it up to Moses' deep humility (which is attested to in Numbers 12:3) that he listened and took his father-in-law's advice. 

But the point I'm trying to make is that just as Moses needed help to perform his God-given responsibility, so do we need help with ours.  None of us is an island; God created us to be in community.  That is why we are called the body--parts of a whole, who work together for the betterment of both the whole and each part.  God can teach us and help us grow anywhere, at any time, through anyone, as long as we remain humble, open, teachable.  (Hey, this is not my strong suit here, so I'm certainly not preaching...just sharing what I'm learning!)

This week, I learned two valuable lessons from two different people, both of whom I'm not close to, and was blessed.  And that, I believe, is just a foretaste of one of the incredible benefits of living in community: to bless, and to be blessed; to sharpen, and to be sharpened; to help, and to be helped.