The Moon's Best Friend

Goodness, it's been a long break!  So many life changes have kept me perpetually reeling and frantically trying to keep from drowning, let alone keep up!  Here's to another try at keeping this up!  (Birth story is coming soon!)

. . . 

Last night, we were driving home from a visit to the grandparents.  It was dark, and hot--so hot!--and the sky was clear with just a few clouds hovering at the perimeter of the horizon.  We watched God's fireworks as we drove--lightning of various colors and intensities flashing across the sky ahead and around us.  But the sky above was clear, and the moon was bright, and the stars were twinkling.  As the storm drew closer to us and we to it, we found ourselves pummeled under torrential downpours of beating rain, and temperatures cooled--praise God!! And the moon glimmered from behind the storm clouds.

Then, when we had passed through the rain, we could see the stark edge of the dark storm cloud, still flashing intermittent lightening; and directly next to the storm cloud gleamed the bright, clear, calm moon.  I wish I could have taken a picture...It was like the storm cloud and the moon were old pals, just hanging out enjoying the evening together.  The moon, at any rate, did not let the chaos and turbulence of the storm affect its calmness and peacefulness.  At times it was hidden by darkness; at times it was diffused and shrouded by clouds; at times it was crisp and clear.

The image of it just struck me so profoundly, though. How the storms of life, no matter how frightening or torrential they may be, are nothing more than a shroud preventing our eyes from seeing God's goodness.  His goodness never ceases.  The moon was unphased by the storm because the moon is above the storm...just as God is above the storms we face, and unphased by them.  His peace reigns supreme in chaos, and we can share that peace by trusting His goodness even when we can't see it.

In church, the pastor exhorted: "Never make the mistake of thinking that God not answering is God not being sovereign."  He gave the example of Joseph, how for years life just kept getting harder and harder for him, and it seemed God had deserted him.  But all the while, God was preparing him for a position in which he could save thousands of lives, including his own family, who had left him for dead.  He probably felt so abandoned and forgotten by God...useless...his life and his dreams wasted...promises of God failed...perhaps even questioning what he'd done wrong to deserve such punishment...But look what happened--overnight he went from prison-mate to prince.

Many of us are so familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"  He just doesn't say how long it might take to get there or which paths we'll have to tread.  I keep forgetting that that is what faith is for...

Some Thoughts on Easter Week

Happy Easter, all! 

The power and meaning of this day is unsurpassed--Christ is victorious, death is defeated!  What could be more important for souls doomed for eternal death, than the offer of eternal life?  And only for the cost of surrender. 

Last week, on Palm Sunday, the pastor of the church we attended discussed, "What is the meaning of Palm Sunday?"  I realized, and am ashamed to admit, that I never really thought about that (and I'm a Bible school graduate!)--it's always just been a fun time to wave palm branches around!  I was eager to hear his answer, and deeply moved by it.  Here it is, the true meaning of Palm Sunday:

"Before Jesus did what he said he would do, people acknowledged who he was."

I don't know about you, but this statement is powerful for me.  How often in my life do I falter in faith because I have to wait (heaven forbid!) for God to fulfill a promise, and I get all complainy and accuse God of not caring for me, and all other sorts of childish reactions.  Palm Sunday is about people believing in Jesus' claim and promise that he was the Messiah who would save them, before he had proven himself true, and asking in hope for him to fulfill his promise.  They cried, "Save us now, Victorious One!" 

The life of faith is all about this: Before we see it done, we declare it and we receive it. 

And today, on Easter Sunday, we remember that he did.  He did what he said he would do, as terrible as it was.  He is the Victorious One who has saved us.  May my faith increase as I wait on him to fulfill his other promises to me!

Life Status Update

Okay, so we've been both crazy busy AND sans internet lately, trying to get back to some sort of normal...We're winding down our time here in this apartment and looking at a move within the next 5 weeks, and we still don't know where.  I'm trying to keep my cool, but I'll admit it's a little stressful.  Owen is working hard--both on dissertation and on finding a job, any job, to get us through this next year.  We're looking nationwide, and it's really astounding how impossible it is to find a job when you're willing to do almost anything for almost any pay and go pretty much anywhere.  It's almost like someone is out there physically shutting doors in our faces.

We continue to see God work on behalf of others around us, working miracles and meeting their needs, and we just sit and wait and wonder when it will be our turn. (And might I venture to say, though I know this sounds biased and unsympathetic, that our needs seem dramatically more desperate than these needs of others that are being met.)  Yesterday, I was stopped in a traffic jam where a police officer was directing traffic, and he waved each of the three other lanes of traffic through, then when it should've been our turn, he skipped us and went through the whole cycle again.  That's kind of how I'm feeling in life right now--everyone else is getting one, two, three "turns" while we sit and wait and get none.

I will admit that my faith is being challenged...but we're still holding on to the promise that God has prosperous plans for us and He is willing and able to take care of our needs. We're hoping and praying that all these closed doors and discouragements are leading us to something unbelievably grand...hoping...praying...

In other news, I am currently 9 weeks in the pregnancy, and doing well if you don't count the extreme nausea and exhaustion.  We met our new midwife and really love her, so we're excited about that.  We all are healthy and well, and generally happy!

Here's hoping to have some exciting news to share soon!

Powerful Provisions

There are so many incredible ways God has shown Himself faithful and powerful to us over the course of these last weeks and months, and has provided for our deepest needs, and I just want to brag on Him a little here!

As we know, God's power is made perfect in our weakness, so let's start with our weakness...

It's been no secret that our life situation right now is a fair bit challenging.  No one chooses to have no job, no means of sustaining life, no home, no ability to provide for your own family, and to have to uproot pretty much annually...And that seems like it's just the tip of the iceberg, but I'll resist being dramatic! Anyway, I held on to faith for as long as I could, but by the end of July, my faith was faltering so badly, I think it was hanging on by only a very thin thread. 

Lately, we've had several rather significant needs weigh on us all at once:

1. Housing--we need a new place to live, that fits in our budget and is flexible with our "we-have-no-idea-what-the-future-holds" situation right now...hard to find.
2. Vehicle--now it makes sense why we needed that minivan so suddenly, eh?  Without a bigger vehicle, we simply would've been house-bound. 
3. Prenatal care for the baby--good doctors abound, but our hearts were set on a midwife and a home birth; it's just that important to me, that if we couldn't have had one here, we would have moved.
4. Job--all of the above needs require money!  Without a job, we just wouldn't be able to support our 5 lives.  Numerous applications out returned no calls back, on anything!  Very disheartening, to say the least.  

So I just wanted to tell how God is beginning to meet our needs and encourage my faith.  We still are in need of items 1 and 4 (housing and job), but out of seeming impossibility, God has recently brought about 2 of our big needs: a larger vehicle/minivan, and a great midwife.  Considering our jobless situation, we thought there would be no possible way for us to meet the vehicle need, but God went powerfully before us and opened all the right doors, and the process went so smoothly and painlessly, with lots of encouragement along the way.  As for the midwife, they are hard to come by in northern Michigan, and the few that exist are a minimum of an hour and a half away from our location.  But God put a friend in our path who recommended a midwife who will actually travel to Petoskey, and we feel comfortable with her and couldn't be happier. 

I know it doesn't look well on me to share my Doubting Thomas story, but I'm encouraged by God's grace to strengthen our faith in the ways we need it.  Recently, I needed to see to believe, and He answered, and renewed my faith in His provision for our other upcoming needs.