Powerful Provisions

There are so many incredible ways God has shown Himself faithful and powerful to us over the course of these last weeks and months, and has provided for our deepest needs, and I just want to brag on Him a little here!

As we know, God's power is made perfect in our weakness, so let's start with our weakness...

It's been no secret that our life situation right now is a fair bit challenging.  No one chooses to have no job, no means of sustaining life, no home, no ability to provide for your own family, and to have to uproot pretty much annually...And that seems like it's just the tip of the iceberg, but I'll resist being dramatic! Anyway, I held on to faith for as long as I could, but by the end of July, my faith was faltering so badly, I think it was hanging on by only a very thin thread. 

Lately, we've had several rather significant needs weigh on us all at once:

1. Housing--we need a new place to live, that fits in our budget and is flexible with our "we-have-no-idea-what-the-future-holds" situation right now...hard to find.
2. Vehicle--now it makes sense why we needed that minivan so suddenly, eh?  Without a bigger vehicle, we simply would've been house-bound. 
3. Prenatal care for the baby--good doctors abound, but our hearts were set on a midwife and a home birth; it's just that important to me, that if we couldn't have had one here, we would have moved.
4. Job--all of the above needs require money!  Without a job, we just wouldn't be able to support our 5 lives.  Numerous applications out returned no calls back, on anything!  Very disheartening, to say the least.  

So I just wanted to tell how God is beginning to meet our needs and encourage my faith.  We still are in need of items 1 and 4 (housing and job), but out of seeming impossibility, God has recently brought about 2 of our big needs: a larger vehicle/minivan, and a great midwife.  Considering our jobless situation, we thought there would be no possible way for us to meet the vehicle need, but God went powerfully before us and opened all the right doors, and the process went so smoothly and painlessly, with lots of encouragement along the way.  As for the midwife, they are hard to come by in northern Michigan, and the few that exist are a minimum of an hour and a half away from our location.  But God put a friend in our path who recommended a midwife who will actually travel to Petoskey, and we feel comfortable with her and couldn't be happier. 

I know it doesn't look well on me to share my Doubting Thomas story, but I'm encouraged by God's grace to strengthen our faith in the ways we need it.  Recently, I needed to see to believe, and He answered, and renewed my faith in His provision for our other upcoming needs.

Giving, Taking, Life and Death

C.S. Lewis

The other night I was at my aunt and uncle's home for dinner, and we got on the subject of C.S. Lewis, since they had just gone to a discussion on him & his works.  I was quite infected by the conversation, as it brought a twist of new light to a common idea...That idea being Jesus' instruction, "Give, and you shall receive."

Lewis, via scholarly experts via aunt and uncle, suggests that Giving brings life, and Taking brings death.  The definition of "death" being something along the lines of "I am Me" (referenced aunt and uncle, correct me if I'm getting something wrong!)--inferring: a focus on oneself leads to debilitating selfishness and eventual self-destruction.  We were not created to be inward-dwelling creatures.  Evidence for this fact abounds.  But when we Give, we create goodwill and lovingkindness and bonds of friendship, and a host of other wonderful, godly virtues.  When we Take, or even merely focus on ourselves instead of others, we bring sadness, destroy relationships, damage feelings and step on beautiful, made-in-God's-image souls.

giving

I've been thinking about this idea since the conversation we had, and it really does seem true: Every act of death, be it as small as a harsh response to an innocent child or as large as a terrible war, it all is based in selfishness:

"I am tired.  Therefore, I have the right to treat my children (husband, or whoever) harshly."  And I steal their joy and sense of security.
"I am poor and overly busy.  Therefore, I am not obligated to help others in need--they should help me!"  And I miss out on a life-changing opportunity to bless someone and in turn be blessed...for those who give, receive...blessings from heaven, packed down, and overflowing.
"I want to feel important and special.  Therefore, I will destroy that person's reputation and self-esteem."  And I kill those who could be friends, from the inside out, attacking their very being. 

(P.S. This blog entry, pardoning the poor word choices in parts, I thought was really great--refreshingly pointed, it put me in my place!)

We are focused only on our own needs and wants, so that they become so huge that they consume us, and lead us to disregard or be incapable of considering another's needs, and we become voracious, ruthless vehicles of death...often without even realizing it.  Our Wants, and even more deadly so our Needs, can become dangerous weapons, wielded at the hand of selfish introspection.

It goes the same even when the victim of death is our own selves, at our own hand.  Why do we feel insecure and beat ourselves over petty things?  We get so selfishly concerned about Me and how I am viewed by society (or whatever your vice is) that we bring death upon ourselves each time we don't measure up.  It is still selfishness, if you are bringing death upon yourself.

"...For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  The rest of that verse, as quoted above (Luke 6.38).  Scary.  Convicting.

It makes sense.  Why do you think it feels so good to give?  Like it sparks some deeply buried fire of passion, the kind of passion we feel when we do what we know we're created to do.  We are, after all, made in the image of our Creator, and our Creator Gives...He gives Life, He gives Forgiveness, He gives Grace, He gives Everything we Need...He gives his only Son, so that whoever might believe in Him would not perish, but would have eternal life.